The Contemplation

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The Story ….contd… May 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Priya Joyce @ 9:00 am
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The continuation of the previous post.    

Due to the treatment I was getting from my classmates….i began building protective shells around me.

I tried not to anything which could make me a prey to their….comments.

A young girl I was..of 9……..and had to face so much.something which I wasn’t used to….

This wisdom…..being worldly wise….it actually  was new for me.

There was a certain girl..called..N***  

She always gave true opinions….  about ..how you read , how you sing, how you speak……oh many many more…..

I have already mentioned..Kashmira shah and Sambhavna seth..  remember??

I was scared of speaking to her.

Because..I was so very simple and could not judge and speak…..what could not lead her to a rude reply.

But would she leave me…..??

No she never did…..

And the most surprising thing is this girl also criticized my parents.

At that time..I felt how stupid i didn’t give her two tight slaps.

But now after years and years…I feel…..I was different….

It is not always necessary that we protest…..

Actually protest could also have disturbed me….a guilt feeling … a sense of wrong..could have haunted me.

I faced many more things….

But that doesn’t matter……what matters is how those things changed me..

The change in me……..  

When people face criticisms..they become strong and resistant towards it.

But  the change in me was just the opposite.

I became sensitive. Not only about myself…but also about others.

I am always careful what other’s would feel if i do this or say this or write this…

yeah sometimes mistakes do happen…..unintentionally    

and this is one reason I stopped taking non-veg.

When I hurt anyone…..I feel guilty…..So I try my best not to do so….

yeah sometimes you do hurt people…but only at times..when truth is bitter.

Its not about saying lies…..its about seeing the better things….

This was a small part of my school life…..

yeah I had good friends..later…..i mean when I reached high school….but till then I was learning how people are…..or how they could behave.

I’d just say……..my parents……and my spiritual inclination……helped me out ….and prevented me from getting into depression…..

ps:) I’d write more of such incidents in the coming posts……….

🙂     Sorry posting ..a day early 😛

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My Story… May 1, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Priya Joyce @ 9:00 am
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I was 9 when I moved to a school where I had to go alone as till then I studied where my dad was the prncipal and my mom was a teacher. I joined the school. 

On the first day in school…every new comer expects certain things.

What I expected was to have a friend who’d show me the places like fee counter, staff room, princi’s office..etc etc…but I think i’d expected too much.

I went into the class….i didn’t even get a seat ..no one even came to talk to me…I was kind of alienated…

Vidhya mandir…well..yeah it was a convent school..but..am sad to say that the none of the kids seemed to be.

I felt I was struch between some very proud kids..who were so proud at the age of 9 or 10….(I wonder what would be they now).

Gradually I began to understand that these students specially girls..were highly skilled in a thing called “making others feel inferior” or rather it was an outcome of their jealousy..

 

[I don’t say that I don’t feel jealous..but whenever I feel it..i sense it and i can control..it..basically I know it is wrong..and I am not a slave of it that  i do whatever it makes me do.]

I was very good at public speaking..so i began getting chances in stuffs like speeches debates..and welcome notes on special occasions of the school..even singing and dancing..

though i wasn’t a topper academically …my achievements in fields as such..made them jealous..

I became a prey of their foul comments…

commenting on judges….that they were partial to give me the first position ..and they never said it as..places like their private meetings..but in front of me…well

do you remember Kashmira shah and Sambhavana seth??

 

They are a kind of species..who appear to be very frank …saying the truth ..and so on…but sadly the good things never come out as truth…only bad ones..[truth is bitter].

 

to be contd…

ps:) i’d continue with post…… next week…..

pps:) a blo wer i post only weekly …

haven’t quit blogger 🙂